Dearest Jack,
I have been hearing you and your father saying some nasty things, such as "..that's why the Sox will never win the World Series." Well, I'm sorry Mr. Hotbod Handsomeface, the White Sox WON the Series yesterday, after the longest game in Series history... and it was their first win since the middle of WWI - 1917. But it's not like YOU would know that, since you're on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific. So, I thought I would write you this friendly note to let you know. And, your father can't contact you because he's dead, and if he were alive, he wouldn't be able to freakin' tell you anyways because YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. GAUL DANGIT! But I love that you're in the middle of nowhere. If you weren't, I would have nothing to look forward to on Wednesday nights besides church. Thank you. Thank you very much.


Love,
a Lost junkie