the man in the moon

Holla!
Is anyone going to SonShine?

Bobbie/Brooke,
We have been so happy since your cell phone went "tones up"!
We are no longer getting overheated, or being zapped with micro-waves. Thank you.

---Your brain cells







My mother and I found this note pasted to our door one morning. I'm not kidding.

too long, too true, too funny

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MINNESOTA WHEN...

• The weather is usually 80% of your conversation.
• When you say "down south" you're referring to Iowa.
• You call highways "freeways."
• Snow tires came standard on your car.
• You've never taken public transportation.
• 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota.
• "Perkins" was the only hangout option in high school.
• You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where you're talking about.
• You can list all the "-dales."
• People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them.
• In a conversation you've heard someone say "yah sure, you betcha" and you didn't laugh.
• You could pinpoint exactly where each scene in the movie "Untamed Heart" was filmed.
• You hate the movie "Fargo" but realize you and your entire family have that same accent.
• You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.
• You know what Mille Lacs is and how to spell it.
• You have fish boiled in lye for Christmas.
• You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.
• You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas.
• Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.
• The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks.
• You're a loyal Target shopper.
• You've frozen your tongue on a metal handrail before.
• You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4 wheel drive vehicle.
• You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March, but you bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60.
• You have gone trick-or-treating in 3 feet of snow.
• You've not only walked across a lake, you've driven across one.
• Everyone you know has a cabin or, at least, access to one.
• You know that Lake Wobegon isn't real and you know who made it up, where they live, and exactly what you want to do about it.
• You have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.
• You consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal.
• You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.
• Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.
• You believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.
• You consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course.
• You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
• You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.
• Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."
• The temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.
• You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast.
• You think happiness is owning a "piece of lakeshore."
• When you talk about "opener" you are not talking about cans.
• You have refused to buy something because it's too "spendy."
• You believe that the Vikings would have won four Super Bowls by now if they were still playing in Metropolitan Stadium.
• You are convinced the Twins will never win the pennant because the owners are too cheap to pay the good players, so they all leave.
• Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.
• You grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.
• You think that ketchup is a little too spicy.
• Your gas station thinks "full service" means filling your gas tank, washing the windshield, checking the oil and being friendly to the customers.
• You (or your parents) voted for Mondale.
• You've seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in Uptown.
• You know that everyone has a city preference -- Minneapolis or St. Paul.
• You can honestly claim Germanic / Scandinavian ancestors, and have been known to say "ya" instead of "yes".
• Upon seeing an ocean for the first time, you say, "Hey! That looks like Lake Superior!"

OH YEAH!

just for fun

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If a man speaks in the middle of the forest and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?
10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
11. Is there another word for synonym?
12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that M.D's call what they do "practice"?
13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all" ?
14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
27. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
29. How is it possible to have a civil war?
31. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
32. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
33. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
34. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp"; to have an "S" in it?
36. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
37. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
38. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
39. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Umm, you may have noticed that some of the questions are missing, and that is only because they were kind of inappropriate. I hope you all have a safe and sober drug-free weekend (ha)! I wuvs you all!

P.S. I'm beautiful.. I'm beautiful.. I'm beautiful, it's true.. I saw my face in a shiny place.. and i'll never be with you.. cuz i'm far too hot for you..

I have a little story to tell you guys.







Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained.
THE END

happy birthday to a good friend

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I LOVE HAVING SOMEONE TO JUST BE WEIRD WITH! I LOVE YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

fred astaire

06.06.06

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is the fear of the number 666. I bet those hexakosioihexekontahexaphobics are going insane right now. Just look at the date!

Last night, a small group of us made a new friend. This friend's name is Hugh. Hugh Rather. This post is completely dedicated to Hugh and his uniqueness. Some things we haven't even discovered about Hugh yet. Hugh is an interesting person. Enjoy :)

Our friend Hugh...

• is extremely muscular with arms down to the ground
• has no feet, but wheels
• has the ugliest wings you have ever seen
• has no hair whatsoever, yet has a mohawk (we think its fake)
• always wears ear muffs
• can only hear what he sees (we don't know how because of the ear muffs), and he sees everything upside down
• was raised by wolves on a deserted island
• is a mediocre singer in a widly popular band
• laughs like a goat
• has the ability to erase memories from people's minds
• has a favorite saying.. "Forget you! I can fly!" and after it is sad, he drops houses on people
• always smells of exhaust, and we have yet to discover where this smell comes from
• has six inch thumbs
• drinks 3 cups of coffee before bed, where he then goes to sleep on a hardwood floor
• always has an itch in the middle of his back
• has numerous ingrown toenails
• has a set of very fine dentures

We are still discovering things about Hugh. Hugh is a most peculiar... man?